coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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