Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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