would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
