I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
my liver is dry heaving
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
