can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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