I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
