you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
