Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
