Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
