Me. At least after what I've been through.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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