I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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