I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
