the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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