Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Randomize
