People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
