dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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