I swear god or herbie drove my car home
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
