Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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