Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
