IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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