my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
