I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
3pm strippers are depressing
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
