i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
