Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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