You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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