hotel room ftw
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
