I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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