...so i touched it.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he thought i was a dude.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
is wine microwaveable?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
