And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
