I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
