Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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