there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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