just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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