Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
