are you still at the devil's house?
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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