...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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