I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
