It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
