i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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