i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
we have officially lost it.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
My breasts were aching with rage.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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