So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
