Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
