You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
