we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
