I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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