i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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