I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
