ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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