apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
operation harelip BJ is a go
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
