Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
