I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
