when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
