This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
