i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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