I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
