i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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