Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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