Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
