I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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