She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
