You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
