you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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