Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
