Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
