the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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