Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize