Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
