We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
