ugly people sure do ruin things
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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