I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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