im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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