Buhtt sex?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Drake has all the answers
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
