Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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