why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
