So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Randomize
