Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
