I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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