You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
