The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
