We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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