Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
