This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Buhtt sex?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Randomize