btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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